A few weeks ago, I posted on Instagram about my tendency to plan. And I also hinted on the universe’s tendency to tear those plans to shreds if need be.
I’m realizing that the universe doesn’t change my path out of spite for me, but actually the contrary. Sometimes, our plans cannot even compare to what we deserve, and hearing “no” can seem like defeat when it’s really a re-route.
In a Bridge to Bliss blog post from September of last year, I wrote in long-form of how over planning out of fear is an act of self-sabotage. When you’re at step B and don’t know where you’ll be for step Z, it can be easy to try and get C through Z figured out to feel better about what lies ahead.
But we all know the universe is not down with that. Here’s an excerpt from that B2B post.
“I’ve always been the person to plan. I decided where I wanted to go to college at the age of 15, and did everything in my power to assure I would be here. I read the career trajectory of everyone in the journalism business who inspired me, and can probably tell you what Amy Dubois Barnett’s Wikipedia page reads verbatim. Even the most seemingly simple decisions have come after gruesome planning, much to the surprise of others.
I could say planning comes to me as a “first nature” because I am ever-confident in my abilities. I could say I am sure of my very own trajectory and am merely acting on it. I could put together any flowery statement to describe my plans. All of these would smack me in the face with the full strength of lying karma.
I over-plan because of fear. Yeah, I said it.”
It’s funny how we truly come full circle when it’s time to re-learn a lesson. I went from trying to perfectly plan my college career to trying to plan my actual career. But I am learning. Because even though I’m not where I thought I’d be six months ago, I realize that I’m exactly where I am supposed to be.
And I also see where I don’t wait for anyone’s permission to live out my purpose. And that my purpose transforms a little bit every day just like I do. And that growth is growth no matter how relatively big or small we measure it to be.
Have you ever felt like a diver, standing at the edge of the diving board, waiting for that moment to jump? Waiting for a big red sign to emerge out of the water saying “NOW IS THE TIME, JUMP”? Just…waiting?
Well, newsflash: As long as you keep waiting, that water is going to keep evaporating. You’ll eventually jump into an empty pool trying to wait for some magical sign. Listen, that sign ain’t coming.
Sometimes, you just have to go with what you’ve got. You’ve got to jump, even if you haven’t completely figured out what will happen afterwards. Even if there’s a chance you’ll fail.
Your gifts, and your talents, are simply waiting on you! If everyone waited for that perfect timing to act, I can guarantee you we’d still be drinking from separate water fountains. I would have never started Siez The Day. Social justice would never make progression.
Jumping is scary. It is! Believe me I know it, or else over planning would have never become a tendency of mine. But if we let fear navigate our every move, there was never a point in dreaming to begin. Because dreaming is only the beginning. We can’t let over-saturated markets, other people’s success stories, or anything else hold us back. We can’t “well first I need xyz” ourselves to victory.
I’m going to go super cliché and just repeat: you’ll never know if you don’t try. And that’s a message to myself just as much as it’s a message to anyone else. The time to jump is now, because (here’s another cliché) tomorrow isn’t promised for any of us. I’m going to be more conscious to act out on my dreams and goals. To stop beating myself up when things don’t go according to plan. To change “L” from loss to learn.
Imma jump, y’all. And I hope you will too.