Siez The Year – A 2017 Photo Reflection

There are many approaches to the last few days of the year; some will celebrate Kwanzaa, some start making New Year’s Resolutions, some are packing up all holiday decorations and going back to life as normal. I’ll actually be a weird hybrid of all of these people within the next week.

But today, I’m reflecting on the year soon to be behind me. I have really been through the wire this year – in both positive and negative aspects. But what I find, and I’m sure many historians will agree, is that taking the time to reflect on the past adds better color to the present and insight to the future. And I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to take any measure possible to ensure I have a dope future. For me, it doesn’t matter if it’s the New Year or any day, I’m always making new goals to go after vigorously.

 

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So when I began to think about how 2017 has been to me, I actually understood why I am where I am today. You see, literally since the first day of the year I was on the move. I arrived in Argentina on January 3rd, and became the equivalent of the Energizer Bunny after that. When I left Argentina in March, I came to Detroit for a week then immediately flew out again to San Francisco, which held adventures of its own. After that, it was back to Detroit for a week, then off to Evanston to graduate! A whirlwind weekend led to spending that summer in Evanston with some of my closest friends. I also launched Siez The Day and worked on that foundation the whole summer. It wasn’t until September that I was actually able to take some time to time to just breathe. And even then, I wasn’t trying to take that given time. All I wanted to do was go go go again. And I did get some go go go time here and there since. I went back to San Francisco a few times. Went to Chicago a bit, too.

 

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But the thing about constant going is, at some point, you’re going to burn out. You’ll be a pile of dust from all the flame and fire. It’s just unhealthy. And I went through my fair share of burnouts during undergrad, so you think I would have learned my lesson (except burnout is a encouraged culture at that school). But I didn’t. So as much as I questioned the universe for why I am in such a relative standstill, I’m thankful that the universe was able to make a decision for me that I wouldn’t have made for myself. As much as I may not like to admit it, I can’t do the non-stop hustling and grinding. I can’t! And I’m reluctant to give myself the same permission of relaxation that I so often offer to others. How many times have I taken on extra work so as to lower the burden of someone else? How many times have I kept myself from asking for help in order to seem like a strong woman who knows what she’s doing? And listen, I am a strong woman who knows what she’s doing – but even the strongest, most knowledgeable woman needs HELP.

 

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So as I sit here, in my pajamas and head scarf, I am thankful. Because not only have I been given the chance to rest and relapse, I have also been given the opportunity to sit and plan in detail my next move(s). You can’t half-ass a good slay. You’ve got to strategize with it and edit it and personalize it to your rhythm. And as 2018 inches its way closer and closer, I feel that inner fire burn hotter and hotter. This whole time, the universe has been preparing me for what’s to come. I am on the edge of something so great, that had I been going and going and going until now, I wouldn’t have been prepared for the glo’ up on the way. In layman’s terms, I would have been out here raggedy and having to postpone my blessing.

 

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Now, the purpose of this post isn’t to be preachy and brag. To be honest, this blog post isn’t really for anyone but me. It serves as a space outside of my head to process all of this, with all of you as my witnesses. But also, it’s meant to be a glimpse of light for anyone who, like me, feels like they’ve been slowed down for no apparent reason. You may also be wondering ‘why?’ Just like J. Cole said, there’s beauty in the struggle. Be still and know that. And use this time for preparation.

Get ready!

 

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I’m coming. Get ready.

XoXo

-Si

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